The above photo is from the August 2017 at DUMBO Boulders in NYC.
Photo credit: Anthony Francis, whom I had the honor of meeting @ DUMBO Boulders
I climb because it is the the few moment where I am not stuck in my head. It did not begin that way. It began in 2014, when my now ex-boyfriend recommended that we do something called bouldering. I had just returned from Bolivia and did some outdoor bouldering out there with the intention of getting from one destination to the next. Going up a fake boulder was not that appealing, as a result I did not return to climbing until October 2016.
Rental shoes, rented harness in 2016
Mission Cliffs in San Francisco, CA
I entered Mission Cliffs in San Francisco in October 2016 exhausted from my work day. I was a first year teacher at an Oakland High School, living and commuting from San Francisco. I remember annoyingly learning the 8-knot and realizing that I was acting out just the same as one of my student whom had begun to test my patience during our double pinch pot unit. I forgot how to learn, and climbing became a testament that you never stop learning. I began to be obsessed. I immediately bought a ten-pass, then that became a membership. I purchased my first pair of climbing shoes and my precious harness that I hate forgetting. Who likes the feeling of a rental harness?
RIP my first pair of climbing shoes. (left) Worn out shoes and my bruised leg from bouldering. (right)
I also returned to bouldering at the most amazing bouldering gym, Dogpatch Boulders. Of course I am biased, I love my San Francisco Touchstone climbing gyms.
But why do I climb? Again, it has been in my experience that when I climb – I am not stuck in my head. I remember toproping with people who would remind me to stand up and reach a hold. But I am 5 feet tall and those who would remind me to “just stand up” were who I called, tall – anything above my height. Climbing has always been a challenge, and I love challenges. There are layers to it, I live with anxiety and depression every day of my life. I don’t feel anxiety and depression creeping in when I am on the wall. It is silenced, for at least a few hours while I incessantly ponder and throw myself onto a route. If anything, it has helped me live better with my brain’s roommates, anxiety and depression. It has made me more resilient, opened my mind to accepting that there is no one solution to any of my problems, and maybe there is not an immediate solution to the naked eye. I may need time to ruminate and I will try again the next day. Maybe I also have to accept failure, and yes I need to meet myself where I am instead of disliking my height and my +1 ape index. It has taught me to love myself on and off the wall.
Climbing has also taught me patience. I was learning something new and finding that I was once again not good at something. That can be a truly frustrating but rewarding experience. As adults, I feel we assume the position of knowing everything. Mind you, I am a high school ceramics teacher and ya, there are times when it is hard to say, “I don’t know.” And it seriously is hard to tell my kids (students, whom I refer to mostly as my kiddies) that I sometimes don’t know what will happen to their ceramic pieces when they are sitting in the kilns. I may be the expert in the classroom, but reality is that there is always the unknown. That is actually truly the beauty of life. But back to climbing – that is the beauty of climbing as well – how the hell will you get up that wall? I only know my way, and I do enjoy sharing beta. That is something else I should mention as to why I climb, camaraderie, friendship, and also the lack of a relationship.
I began climbing with my boyfriend at the time, who is now an ex. I think climbing and I will never become exes, but who really knows. Nothing lasts forever. In the time that I have climbed, the rock wall and I have seen a few boyfriends come and go. The breakup from my boyfriend who introduced me to climbing halted me from toproping and I began to boulder instead. I have returned to toproping since then. Then my first summer as a teacher came with yet another heartbreak, that ended up spiraling into a positive change. I entered that summer putting my first year of teaching behind me, knowing that I had made it. I entered that summer, not knowing that late June my heart would break and that I would obsessively boulder nearly every day after that for a month and a half. I met climbers who later became good friends during that time and continue to meet people who may or may not be friends. But we may definitely bond over a route or two and wave hello at the gym. I have even reconnected with a friend that I had not seen in more than 15 years. Life is crazy. And although things sometimes look down in the dumps, there is no where else to go but up. As cheesy as that sounds, that’s my truth. The more and more I blog, the more you will learn about my journey and although I am 5 feet tall and only know the way that I climb, I welcome you to join me and hopefully you will stay for the ride.
Welcome to my blog 😀
Short People Beta 